Alcohol and drug abuse are family diseases with severe consequences for all family members, particularly children.  Prenatal exposure to tobacco, alcohol and drugs is associated with miscarriage, stillbirth, sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), low birth weight, physical deformities, cognitive impairment, conduct disorders, depression and mental retardation.  Parental alcohol and drug abuse increases the incidence of family violence, divorce, financial problems and exposure to crime.  Substance abusing parents are much likelier than parents who don’t abuse alcohol or drugs to abuse and neglect their children.  Children of smokers are likelier to suffer ear infections, asthma, bronchitis and pneumonia.  Children of parents who smoke, use illegal drugs or abuse alcohol are likelier to do the same.  Parents who are permissive about their children’s substance use put them at greater risk of smoking, drinking and other drug abuse.

The good news is that parents have enormous power to be a healthy influence on their children, to help steer them from involvement with tobacco, alcohol and drugs.  Parents who abstain from cigarettes and illegal drugs, drink responsibly, have high expectations for their children, monitor their whereabouts, know their children’s friends and provide loving support and open communication are less likely to have children who smoke, drink and use drugs.  Substance abuse knows no class boundaries; it devastates families of CEO’s as well as families on welfare.

Changing demographics however, have altered the American family in recent years. Marriage rates have declined and divorce rates have increased.  Single parent families are common and likelier to be in economic distress.  Grandparents are raising their grandchildren.  These situations increase the risk that parents will smoke, abuse alcohol and use drugs, and that their children will do the same.  The route to a drug-free America is through our children.  A child who gets through age 21 without smoking, using illegal drugs or abusing alcohol is virtually certain never to do so.  And, for better or worse, the greatest influence on our children is their families.

One of the features that we now know that helps families to overcome so many of the challenges that they face is called “resilience”.  This feature, which can be developed in every family, is the ability to work as a team, to see the greater picture, and to view life in a more positive rather than a more negative way.  This does not mean that everyone always has to agree!  It does mean that, even in disagreeing, members of the family can know that they are respected and loved, and that together the group can navigate and create change however it presents itself.                        

Some characteristics of emotionally resilient families include:

• Adaptability – being able to cope with change
• Gratitude and Appreciation - thanking each other and helping each other
• Clear Roles – a parent(s) who don’t act like parents, or who don’t want to take on their responsibilities as parents, create confusion and conflict in the family
• Communication - being genuine/caring and willing to listen carefully and respectfully to the views of others
• Commitment - recognizing that everyone in the family circle has value and worth

To create resilient families we need to focus not only on our emotional but also on our physical and spiritual wellness as well.

Contributors to this Newsletter: Dr. Andrea Facci/Stephanie J Needham/Michael M Furey 

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